Many beautiful and wonderful events have occurred this year, and if none of them touched your life you are under no obligation to “look on the bright side,” accept that “it could always be worse” (it could be a hell of a lot better), or “keep going/believing/trying,” because this one person knows someone who was in a much WORSE situation and they (insert platitude). No. You aren’t a Journey tune.

2020 is a Chump. Green Day got it right. KB died. I’ve spoken with so many who cannot escape the searing grief of her passing. Though we no longer discuss it.

Perhaps you lost your job, Covid stole your parent, sister, brother, child. Your home was destroyed in a fire. You no longer have food or housing. You’re sick. Quarantine and home schooling and canceled plans and are you kidding me Zoom playdates? Chump Year. Wait it out.

Your depression and anxiety are met with “call this number.” Then what? What happens when you call? (you will receive help, support, and resources, in case you were wondering)

Fixers with platitudes and hammers preach “Self care.” Yoga.” Baking.” Have you tried not being depressed?

It’s wonderful to celebrate victories, and we should. And if you find yourself in despair, that’s ok too. Sometimes it feels like judgment. I don’t want you to see me this way. Every social media post is infused with boundless enthusiasm and hope and victory. What’s wrong with you? Nothing is wrong with you. Depression is an illness, not a failure or personality disorder. Not a character flaw.

I have zero answers. I have been through depression and anxiety and some other stuff. What I needed was someone to listen, to check on me, to accept me as I was in that moment. To reassure me that I was still me. I was not broken. I didn’t need fixing. Perhaps you need that, too. Or your needs are different.

You are still incredible you and your feelings are valid. I’ll tell you that until your teeth hurt. And support you through your journey as you begin to believe it yourself, again.

Tell someone who needs to hear it. Be there.